woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Randomize
