I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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