HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
