im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
