he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
