is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more duck duck goose at the bar
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize