Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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