If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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