Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
