A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
