Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
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