I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
