dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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