my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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