Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
