She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
