Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
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The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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