Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
