Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
