You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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