do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
