They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
