Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
