Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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