Already got asked if we're dating
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
