i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
