im about as happy as oj after his trial
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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