I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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