i already hear my dad disowning me
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
