Screwed.edu
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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