Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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