i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
