The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
