what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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