What tipped you off? The sombrero?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
