whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Randomize
