youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
