holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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