Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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