I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
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Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
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He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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