No, drunk sperm still make babies.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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