I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
