When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
