I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
