After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
