my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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