people are starting to question the shark bite story
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
