Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
