My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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