I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
