Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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