pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
its not stalking. its research.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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