I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I need to calm my uterus...
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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