I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
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