So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
