: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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