Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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