you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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