Are we in a gay sports bar?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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