i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
