why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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