It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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