dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
