then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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