dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just cut my nipple shaving
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
