ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
