When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
