just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
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My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
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He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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