you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
