ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
