your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
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Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
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Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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